Neurodiversity and the School Holidays

The school holidays can be a daunting time for many parents, especially for neurodiverse individuals and their families.

There’s a big expectation that the long break from school should filled with family time and having fun trips out. But big changes in the daily routine, along with ravelling, socialising and meeting up with relatives, can be the cause of a lot of stress for people with ADHD and ASD.

So what can we do to make the school holidays more enjoyable?

Here’s a round-up of our top tips:

1. It’s okay not to be okay:

It’s common to feel overwhelmed during stressful moments, especially when we ignore our emotions while seeing others seemingly having a great time. Acknowledging that it’s okay not to be okay is the first step to feeling better. Offering reassurance to ourselves and our children during these moments is essential for managing stress and improving well-being.

2. Organise ahead:

Create a family-friendly schedule for the holidays, including designated days off for relaxation. Make a shared calendar accessible to everyone to avoid surprises and ensure everyone’s needs are considered. Discuss the plan as a family ahead of time and prioritise activities that work for all. Planning together can help ensure a smooth, enjoyable holiday for everyone.

3. Introduce a gradual change of setting:

Holidays like Easter or Christmas often bring new decorations and food, which can be overstimulating for neurodivergent individuals. Consider gradually introducing changes and involving everyone in the decoration and meal planning process to make transitions smoother. This way, everyone can share preferences, helping to create a comfortable atmosphere for all.

4. Stick to a routine as much as possible:

You may be tempted to view the holidays as a chance to have a break from your usual routines, but it’s important to remember that routines are a really important tool for neurodivergent people for reducing anxiety and keeping meltdowns to a minimum.

5. Limiting events:

It’s okay to skip some social events during the holidays. Prioritise the ones your family will genuinely enjoy, and that suit your child’s needs. Be selective about the events you attend, and choose those that are neurodivergent-friendly for a more enjoyable experience.

6. Educate your child about the school holidays and what they involve:

During gatherings or outings, help your children understand the dynamics of family and friends and encourage them to express their feelings. Let them know they have the option to decline a hug or any physical affection if they’re not comfortable. This prepares them for what to expect and reduces surprises, making the experience more manageable.

7. Include your children while planning:

Involve your child in the planning process by discussing what activities they would like to participate in and which ones they’d prefer to skip. This will help them feel more in control and included. Additionally, plan a simple sign or code to use if they start feeling overwhelmed during an event, giving both of you a way to communicate and manage the situation. Planning together will make you both feel more confident and prepared for family and friends’ events.

8. Think ahead:

Think about potential overwhelming situations and plan ahead. Having a quiet space in mind to retreat to can help manage stress, whether at a relative’s house, restaurant, or other locations. Make sure your child has a comforting item, like a favourite toy, to feel at ease in challenging moments.

9. Establish rules with your family in advance:

Not everyone understands how it feels to be neurodiverse. It’s important to communicate with your relatives about the unique needs of your neurodivergent child. Explain that declining hugs, not saying “thanks” right away, or feeling overstimulated by lights and sounds are not signs of disrespect but part of their boundaries. Sharing these details in advance helps build understanding and support.

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By planning ahead, setting boundaries, and being mindful of sensory needs, you can create a smoother and more enjoyable school holiday for your family. We hope that you have a wonderful break.